Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Finding Yourself

I'm honestly not very good at this blog thing, but I promise to work harder. As I was searching for a new talent I ended up finding out more about myself. The thing about searching for something new is that you never know what you might find. All my life I have looked and looked for things that I was good at, things that would help me fit into who I thought I might be. I was a dancer growing up and I thought, "This is it, I will be a professional dancer." I am a pretty good dancer but one day I looked around and there wasn't a single person on my team, from the dancers to the coaches, that I wanted to be like. I tried sports and I found myself being pretty good there too, but it still didn't quite suit me. In high school I joined the choir and found out I wasn't too bad as a singer but I found out quickly that I didn't have the courage to sing out. Although on the dance floor I could be in the spotlight, when it came to using my voice in public I couldn't fight the fear. I have tried working in everything from retail to customer service to call centers to the service industry and now I am a nanny. I guess you could say I am still to this day searching for my true calling.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to help out at a "Mini MTC". Basically what we did was for a weekend the youth in the church from the area I live in, ages 16-18, spent a weekend (27 hours), learning about what it would be like to serve a mission for the church. So we had speakers there, group meetings to help each other, study times, role playing and actually going out into the community to share a message door-to-door. It was absolutely amazing. One of the greatest experiences and I will never forget it. In my group I had six amazingly, slightly nervous, wonderful young women. They were so full of life and excitement. I absolutely loved it because these young people were there to learn and grow. They all had the desire and I learned so much just from their presence. It was really an eye-opening, spiritually uplifting weekend! I had the opportunity to realize that I shouldn't be afraid to speak up, to be the best me that I can be. These girls looked up to me and I guided each of them, comforted them when they got discouraged, and pushed them when they wanted to give up. I guess you could say I found out that what I thought was a weakness turned out to be a strength over the weekend. These girls that are more then 12 years younger then me, encouraged me to be better.

I am so indeed grateful for the experiences that are placed before us. I know that each one helps to mold us into who we will become. I am still searching for whatever it is that I can truly call "my own" and enjoying every minute of the journey. I know that we should never give up hope and never stop trying. Tomorrow is a new day full of new experiences. They say, "The past is history, the future is in God's hands but the present is a gift." It's what we do with that gift that matters. We can't change history and I can't see past right now because I don't know what tomorrow will be like. But I can plan for today and I plan to make the best of it!

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